Part I. The ”I Need a New Love:”

One of the memorable encounter we’ve had is from this fine lady who’s been in a recently ended relationship and is now longing for a new one. Her energy is that of power. However there was a concealed energy that she was emanating, you can sense the unhappiness within. Apparently, she just ended a relationship but her sorrow did not actually come from a result of that breakup. On the contrary, her previous relationship before that has caused much pain and trauma. Her resolve was to enter into a new one as a healing process but that even caused more Unhappiness to her.

I’m sure some could relate to this story, thinking that jumping into a new relationship could cure the loneliness or sadness as a result of a likened hang-over from a previous one. But lo and behold, it just worsened the situation. She did not just prolonged the agony but shared and inflicted another suffering to a new person that she invited in her life.

This is what happens when we do not completely deal and heal from a previous failed relationship. Failure from an intense love relationship can give us equally intense emotions. Such as self-pity, low self worth, self hatred, anger, bitterness, revenge, insomnia or categorically speaking the broken heart disease.

So how does one pick the self again when we are faced with this burdensome situation and move on from the Unhappiness? Firstly, refrain from entering into a new relationship or at least not yet until the coast is clear (mentally & emotionally) for you. 

Here are some thoughts:

Forgiveness: every person in a failed relationship would fall into the game of Blame, either blaming the other person for the mistakes made or worst yet blaming yourself for not being able to keep it together. When the negative or destructive emotions take into effect, it will be best to catch yourself soonest not to make things worst. Thus Forgiveness is a better choice..

To borrow a line, Forgive the person for not turning out the way you wanted him/her to be. Forgive the other person for it takes two to tango, and accept the fact that you are a contributor to the failure of the relationship. And most especially, Forgive yourself for whatever mistakes and failures that are running in your head. What is important is you recognize the mistakes and let them serve us lessons & learnings that hopefully you wouldn’t repeat again. And recognize that you have done your best at that point in your life and you allowed yourself to Love wholeheartedly. For it is not gonna hurt that much if you didn’t allow yourself to Love intensely. And lastly, forgive the past for it is over and done with, realize that what you only have is right now and you can make better choices now. Doesn’t it feels much better when you forgive?

You can say this as a mantra: “I forgive you for not turning out the way i wanted you to be..”

Love Yourself More: Sometimes the best Revenge is to love yourself even more. However, what i mean here about loving yourself more is refraining yourself from thinking defeating, disempowering or pity thoughts about yourself. Otherwise, what you think, you energize and people will sense that. Instead make an effort to think the exact opposite, better yet list down all the positive qualities that you have. For you to be desired and be lovable, you have to start believing that you deserve that as well. You have to be truly honest and accepting of what it is that is desirable or lovable about you. Once those positive truths about you emerges and conditions the mind couple that with your positive actions and choices, you’ll be surprised that the energy you are emanating is that of attractivess and beauty. And hopefully you’ll be alert enough to recognize a potential mate that you’ll attract. 

Your past relationship is not going to be the same in the next, if it does, then you haven’t grown out of your old patterns.

Book of Answers: LISTEN MORE CAREFULLY; THEN YOU WILL KNOW

October 1, 2007

An older brother is in turmoil right now.. He is 33 years of age… Sad to realize that he has fallen in a feeling of betrayal again… I say again because this feeling started in his younger days… A trauma that is difficult to let go… And a recent situation has triggered him to fall back in the feeling of being victimized… But during these moments a lot of things will come as a surprise… Moments that will become opportunities for my brother and me… That at these points in our lives, a brother could indeed uplift a brother’s spirit… Within months of struggles and aches… Only an hour of lunch between brothers could ease the pain… With that hour of conversation, my brother is ready to face the world again… Prepared to triump and conquer his destiny and the abundance that he deserves… Ready to challenge his fears and slay the dragons in his mind… What propelled him to swing to the positive side at such a fast pace? I have come to realize that there are indeed a lot of changes to the present lives that we hold… In the norm, we would just ignore and pester each other up… And that, it is a sign of weakness to allow you to be beaten down by a situation… However this situation presented us a new fate… It showed me a chance to kindle a brotherhood that I’ve longed for… Where rivalries are put aside… And that just Love and Support could move brethren… That expressing Love is not at all corny as how we think it is… Instead Love could give Courage and Hope to the imminent future of our Lives…